Friday, October 31, 2008

Please forgive the laziness

okay, okay, okay... so I discovered facebook.....

I know, I know.... there are more constructive things to do with my time. But man! it is SO addicting! (or is it addictive?) Either way... it's killin' me.

Getting little updates - snippits, if you will, about people's comings and goings in their daily lives. It's like being a voyeur... but legal. sorta... I dunno. The entire thing is totally weird to me. I love reading about people doing every day stupid things. I guess I'd rather do that than actually DO the stupid everyday things that I'm SUPPOSED to be DOING. YES! Yet another form of procrastination! Man, I'm good! :-)

Well, today is Halloween and the kids just got back from trick-or-treating. They came back sugared-up to the hilt. Bouncing off the walls with a stash covering the kitchen table. Literally. Check this out.

Rick and I have already picked through and gotten out the stuff that we like. (Parents' prerogative - we rule) and gotten rid of all of the hard candy and junk that we deem as 'bad' (unwrapped crap) and this is what they have left. Crazy, huh? You can see how miserable they are.....
I will be writing more tomorrow and posting more pictures of Danny's field day from school. It was hysterical. He had to 'herd pigs' (no, not real pigs) and i have a general contractor coming to look at my roof and ceiling to see if it can be fixed. - keep those fingers crossed. but for right now, there's a margarita SCREAMING my name and I must run before it wakes my children.... :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I want that, and that, and that, and that, and that....

Kids can't watch television anymore without being bombarded with this, that AND the other.

As it gets closer to Christmas - (the season apparently starts in August these days) more and more commercials are on with things that the kids just HAVE to have.
Naturally it's every piece of crap imaginable. From Pixos (google it, it's stupid) to some kind of 'easy bake oven wannabe' to Power Ranger weapons to My Little Pony to RC cars and 'Swim To Me Puppy' (that's really dumb).
I think Allison actually saw a harp in a catalog and said that she wanted THAT too. !!?!?!!?


Every time they say they want something I tell them to write it down to ask Santa. I figure if they can get motivated enough to write down something they want, they must really want it. The other stuff is just fluff that's being shoved in their face by the ad agencies.

Needless to say, they've YET to actually write anything down. Too much effort to find a writing utensil apparently.

Well, the Army Corp came out today. Poor kid looked like he was about 21 - said this was his first assessment. He had just flown in from Honolulu. He noticed my Red Sox sweatshirt (yes, I'm all bundled up today, it's in the 60's) and we proceeded to chit chat for 20 minutes about the joy of Big Papi and what a jerk Johnny Damon is and how he belongs in NYC.
He had gone to MIT and was volunteering here because he had seen so much on TV about the damage.
To be truthful, I was kind of embarrassed that I didn't have more damage like a sailboat in my laundry room or something cool. I told him to go and use the resources somewhere else. I could live with my buckets in the living room for a little while longer. Hell, we're not even going to meet our deductible. I told him to go and help out someone with an entire tree in their kitchen.

Let's all pray for clear weather until my contractor can make it back.....

Took Allison to the doctor on Tuesday. Poor thing not only has mono, but 2 ear infections and a sinus infection to boot! Lucky girl! No wonder she's been so miserable! Who could blame her?

I got a phone call from one of the parents of a kid in her class. Apparently my idea of nutrition has caused an uproar in the classroom. When did pop tarts become public enemy number one? So I didn't get to the grocery store over the weekend. So what if she had Ding Dongs, Pop Tarts, a juice box, Frito's, Twizzlers and a somewhat iffy apple. At least I tried. I explained to the other Mom that by child #2, your ideals become a little less 'strict', shall we say.

Heck, I'm just happy that I haven't killed that child yet. We're doing A OK!

*Note to Mom, I took my meds today* :-) (while giving a thumbs up)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Is anybody even reading this or am I doing this for my health?

When did I get old?

It's just not fair.
Now that I can stay up as late as I want.... I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
Now that I can eat ice cream for dinner.... I don't want to gain weight.
Now that I don't have to clean my room... I'm embarrassed if I don't.
Now that I can watch R rated movies.... they bore me.

What the hell?

I went grocery shopping tonight and finished up just as it was getting dark. 'Gimme Shelter' by the Rolling Stones came on the radio as I was driving home and I was thinking... "I should really hurry up - nothing good ever happens after dark". Good Lord. Who Am I?

Is this the same person that used to drink a 12 pack daily? At a bar? Where everyone knew my name? And they certainly didn't expect me to leave before closing time!
We used to work from 5 am until 8 pm go out drinking until 1 - 1:30 am and get up and do it all again. DAILY.
I've ridden on motorcycles at 100 mph. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gone to NYC by myself. I moved to Texas from NH with $100 in my pocket. I've hitchhiked. I've lived in my car. I've been on road trips to foreign countries and stayed with people we didn't know. I've been in the 'kill zone' of a SWAT team. I've been in the back of a cruiser (more than once).
True, all of these things make me borderline stupid... but.... why am I so squirrelly now?
Hurry up and get home before dark? What in the hell is that? Is it getting old? Or is it being a Mom?
Is it wanting to be here to protect them or to be here to catch them doing all of the things that YOU did?

BTW - The Patriots are trying their damnedest to make up for the Red Sox loss last night and keep all of New England out of a deep dark depression. Thank you Pats.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Remember when?

Remember back in the days when we had our teddy bears? Weren't they named something really creative like 'teddy'?

I honestly don't think I had a stuffed animal that was an absolute favorite - at least none that I can remember. I know that I always loooooved the satin edges on blankets and the little triangles that were made from the stitches... still love them to this day. Can't explain it. Just a tactile thing, I guess. Anyway... I digress, yet again..... surprise!

Well, both of my kids have a favorite stuffed animal. Danny has had his for a long time - Al's has been around for a long time, but has only become her favorite for about the last year or so. Danny also has a bonus blanket that sleeps with him - (he'd DIE if he knew I was talking about this) The funny thing is that he got this blanket when we flew up to New Hampshire before Al was even born. Our flight had been delayed going from Houston to Atlanta so we missed our connection to New England - They put us on another flight from Atlanta to Hartford and proceeded to separate all three of us. Rick was in 10B, very pregnant Amy was in 27F and not-even-two year old Danny was in 44J - Brilliant, eh? Needless to say, we paid the extra $50 for the upgrade and all moved on up to 1st class. All that being said - Danny got an airline blanket - which promptly became HIS blanket - and he hasn't let go of it since. He loves the thing! We've tried to get him backups, but he knows the difference... apparently this was the 'holy grail' of airline blankets. God love him, at least it was sorta free.... But... once again... I digress... Here are the stuffed animals in question... any thoughts on their names?

Okay, I'm going on the assumption that no one was able to *guess* - unless you have insider information (grandparents). The Boxer (who would buy that for a newborn baby girl????!?!?) is named Lucia and the Monkey is named Pooplet.

How many of you guessed correctly?

Yeah. I thought so.

Does this mean my kids are slightly off center? or gifted and talented? I'd love to think it's the latter, but their gene pool suggests the former.

I remember as a kid having a guinea pig that we named Kathy (with a K, of course) because THAT was our favorite name. When my brother and I played house as kids we'd fight over who got to be Kathy. Mind you, my brother is now 6'1" and 225 lbs., plays rugby and has a questionable moral compass, but dammit at the time he wanted to be KATHY!

*you know I am going to get bruises for typing that, but it is just so worth it to have it in print for all to see*
My mom bought the kids some souvenirs from her trip overseas which they immediately put on this morning. She also sent some of her souvenir cups from all of her cocktails from the ship - as you can see from the photos - my children knew exactly what to do - They do their Mama proud. :-)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Why would anyone want to run for office?

I just don't get it.

There's no way in blazes that I could have run for office or even married someone who wanted to run for office. Especially now in the days of technology where you can't even go to the bathroom without worrying that you're being videotaped on someones cell phone. How would these pictures look if you were the 'first-lady to-be'?

Yup.... That's a tube top that says... "Delicious"

Straight out of Walmart. Does it get any better than that?

Wait... Yes, yes it does get better than that.... case and point....

Have you ever seen so much electric blue eyeshadow in this decade in YOUR LIFE?????

Granted, it was for a 'white trash' party - but unfortunately we found our costumes straight out of our own closets. *sigh* The same crowd has a Halloween party coming up. Can't wait to see what a debacle THAT turns out to be. Thankfully, we've all found our calling in life, and public office doesn't seem to be a part of any of it!

Update on the roof leak. Last night I was coming downstairs from reading to the kids and was bipped in the head by a drip of water... mind you it was raining.... but the stairs are covered by the attic.... uh oh... apparently our a/c condenser has decided that it wants a piece of the action as well. So here we go with ceiling wet spot #5 - pretty awesome, huh? Love it!

Still waiting on the general contractor to make an appointment to come out to see us -

still waiting on the a/c guys to call back to make an appointment to come out to see us -

still waiting for my meds to kick in...

still waiting for the kids to go to bed.

Still waiting to win the lotto.

Yada, yada, yada. and so it goes...

at least I'm not running for office!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Plunk, plunk, plunk

Why oh why, didn't it rain on Friday?

Ugh... Yup... You guessed it. We just got rain for the first time since Ike made his guest appearance in South East Texas.

Al came running in.... 'MAMA... MAMA! Dere is WATAH comin in da HOUSE!!!!'

Naturally it couldn't just come through the ceiling... no. no. no. too easy... the light fixture is the only way to go! So now it looks like I've got to get a roofer, a sheetrocker, a pattern guy, because of course my ceiling has some sort of stupid texture on it, a painter AND an electrician (where's Skyline Electric when I need it?) (that's a private joke for YOU, Mom :-)

Here's the kicker.... I'm not sure what our deductible is. We have two different ones. One for Windstorm and Hail ($2350) and once for Tropical Cyclone ($4700) - Of course you know which one the insurance company is going to call it!!!!! Ugh.

The reason I wished that it had rained on Friday is because we went and 'donated' all of our money to the Coushatta tribe over the weekend. For those of you in New England, you can relate it to donating to the Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun complexes. :-(

To celebrate our ten year anniversary, Rick and I got the bright idea that it would be fun to go and steal some money from the tribe and run back home... yeah, right.... they took our money, comp'ed us a $15 breakfast and called it a weekend. We had a good time though, it was nice to get away and have some grown-up time. The in-laws had a great time spoiling the hell out of the kids and unfortunately for ALL of us, reality has set in.

Mom just got home from her trip abroad. I asked her what her very favorite thing that she saw was. (Mind you, she went to Barcelona and all over Italy).

She says.... 'the mosaics in Pompeii.'

I said, 'really? were they breathtaking?'

she said, 'oh there were all types of penises'

Yup.... no lie.... even before discussing the Vatican.... Penises in Pompeii... God Bless her.....

Okay, enough fun... gotta do research to see what the hell I need to do to get FEMA out here and get some food stamps or something. Your government dollars at work! Wee hoo!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How to tell if you've been married too long....

Got this story from a friend of mine...

I'm posting this in honor of our ten year wedding anniversary... here's to you, honey! :-) xoxoxo

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.

The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes.

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'

The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long, scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled

'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'

*the irony is that I got this joke from my friend, Robyn*

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

What a long weekend THAT was...

First of all let me say... GO RED SOX! Woo hoo!

The post-season is where I usually join the Red Sox Nation. I am definitely a fair-weather-fan. I enjoy playoff baseball. I enjoy playoff football. Regular season stuff just doesn't interest me. It's like there's not enough at stake. There's not enough celebration at the end of the games - There's not enough agony at the end of the games. I dunno - I'm a little 'extreme' I guess. Also, with my attention span being what it is, the seasons are just entirely too long to hold my attention. A few weeks I can do.. a few months? Forget it. I also get too emotionally invested. For example, last night - I was exhausted, but still stayed up until 11:00 p.m. so I could see all of the post-game nonsense.
I remember back in 2004 during the series with the Yankees when we were down three games in the series - such a sick feeling - until the whole thing turned around... and there was a collective *gasp* in New England. (and a strange thing called hope that many of us had never felt before) Ahhhh... fond memories.
On a completely unrelated note... most of you that know me know that I LOVE beer. I always have. I just like the taste of it. I drink it like most people drink soda. LOVE it!
Well, here's the kicker... went to the doctor on Friday - nothing wrong, just a med-check - I told her that I was uncomfortable with this 20+ lbs that has camped out on my midsection and has refused to leave since I took steroids for a completely unrelated illness two years ago. Long story short, she prescribed a new med for migraines (?) that is supposed to be an appetite suppressant/mood stabilizer. One of the side effects is that anything carbonated tastes like dookie!
Beer tastes AWFUL.
It's like losing my best friend! I'm in limbo! Saturday night was the worst. Like a junkie without a fix, I was bouncing off the walls... my dear sweet neighbor, in an attempt to help, gave me a bloody mary, and then proceeded to 'freshen it up' about 40 times. About 1:30 a.m. after laying down in a bed that wouldn't stop spinning I decided that perhaps if I made myself sick I would feel better. - Good Lord, it was like being in college all over again. That's another reason I love my beer. I know my limits! I know how much is TOO much and when to say when - vodka is another thing altogether... ugh. god bless my family - they let me sleep until 11:00 and were very, very quiet when I finally hauled myself out of bed in the morning. I'm too old for this crap. On a more positive note, I've lost 3 pounds already so we'll see...
And now for something completely different....
We met with Danny's teacher yesterday. She had nothing but good things to say about him. The normal reading level for his age is Level 3 - He's reading at Level 12 - which is where they should be reading at the end of 1st grade. Yeah, Dan! We started him in Spanish lessons last week. He loved it. (Mostly because they gave him popcorn, but hey, whatever works).
Allison can't stop talking about Buelo and Buelis coming to visit this weekend. She's bragging about beating them at Candyland. Rick can't stop talking about going to Coushatta (sp?) this weekend. Weeeee hoooo! Child free weekend, Baby!!!! God bless Buelo and Buelis!!! It's a win/win situation. The grandparents are excited, the kids are excited and Rick and I are ECSTATIC!

And again, here's my ADD showing, but... Here's our Halloweens through the ages.... enjoy! :-)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Definition of 'Woobley'

...appearing or acting unsteady, erratic, irregular, nervous or anxious....

Ever get 'woobley'?

As a general rule I do whenever I have to travel. Whether it be by plane, train or automobile, if it's outside my comfort zone, I'm woobley. I don't even like buses for that matter. Any situation that's out of my control is not a comfortable one for me. But here's a new one... today I had to read to a class of first graders. Twenty five, six and seven year olds staring at me with their oh-so-innocent little faces. Before I even left the house I had to hit the bathroom about 17 1/2 times. My mouth was dry, my face was numb, passed the point of delirium.... (whoops - that's a song by Green Day called Brain Stew). But I digress.. I walked into the 'open concept' classroom - don't even get me STARTED on THAT one! - and was greeted by Danny's teacher Miss Sigmund.

Remember that grade school teacher that you just loved? The pretty one with the long blond hair that always smiled and never yelled and told you how wonderful you were? (yeah, right) Well my friends, THAT is Danny's teacher. After the first time he met her, he felt the need to both hug her AND wrap his leg around her.

(Which we have since tried to impress upon him is NOT appropriate) As you can see by the look on his face in this picture, he's quite smitten and has promised to never ever get into trouble in Miss Sigmund's class.

Anyways, I was scheduled to read to the class today. I picked out some of the old favorites from the house and marched my happy self into the class. As I'm taking "Walter the Farting Dog" out of my satchel, I'm starting to realize that although potty humor is HUGE in my house, perhaps it's not quite appropriate at school. Yup.. that's when full blown woobley set in. I ended up reading 'Skippyjon Jones' in a muy muy soft voice a few times with my very best Spanish accent.

"My name is Skippito Friskito, (clap clap)

I fear not a single Bambito, (clap clap)

My moves are so mellow,

I'm sweet like the jello,

I get the job done yes, indeed-o" (clap clap)

Several teachers in the area must have been offended by my very best spanish accent because heads were popping up all over that 'open concept' like a freakin' prairie dog colony.

Such fun.

Did I mention that my mom is leaving tomorrow for Italy? I'm so excited for her. She's going to have a wonderful time, even if she is a bit woobley at the moment. Her doc prescribed her some anti-anxiety stuff - I told her to take one with a glass of wine and she'll be across the ocean before you can say 'Chihuahuas, cheese and crackers'.

I'm also very excited for my dad as he just finished up his cancer treatment this week. Did I mention that they were filling him with TB in the hopes of killing the cancer? Yeah, weird, I know. It makes you wonder, 'who in the world would have been the first to try that?' like who in the hell said, 'hey - let's eat that crab - YUM!' - they are so nasty looking!

I bet it was on a dare!

Okay, it's Friday, it's pizza night, it's beer night - oh wait... every night is potentially beer night! my kids are too quiet and i'm afraid... i'm very afraid.

Mom have a great trip - eat, drink and be merry - enjoy the sights, say hey to the pope for me.

Dad, don't go into a diabetic coma from eating all of the sweets that you'll be eating while mom is away!

Have a great weekend, y'all

Thursday, October 2, 2008

what's up with this?

For those of you without small children, you may not be aware of this show....

it's called "Yo Gabba Gabba".

Tell me.... do you think it's as disturbing as I do?

I love it, I love it, I love it.

Yes, that was a direct quote from my dear, sweet, loving mother. 'I love it,' she says.

And this is in direct response to my four year old pitching an ungodly fit. Why? Because her favorite dress was in the laundry.
In all honesty, she was just being too lazy to go upstairs and find a different one, but THAT is another matter.
My mom was on the phone talking about what she was going to do today, (Did I mention that she's leaving for Italy in two days?) when my dear Allison decided that she wasn't receiving quite enough attention.
After asking her nicely to go and get dressed, she refused and it turned into the "1..........2.............3!" standoff.
After much shouting, stomping, slamming, etc. My mother just cackled and said that she was going to be laughing all the way to her grave. Apparently I was a pretty atrocious child for a payback like this one. My only consolation at this point is that Allison's daughter is going to be exponentially WORSE!

Danny boy had his picture day at school today. Poor guy. He put on a golf shirt, looked cool, and then proceeded to button it up all the way. All he needed was a little pocket protector and he would have been good to go. Have any of you ever seen that commercial with the three little boys doing the robot dance? That's my Danny.

In the meantime, I'm partially dreading this weekend. It's going to be a little too jam-packed for my liking. Friday, Rick has band practice. Saturday, Rick has band practice and auditions for a new guitarist. Saturday night we have a birthday party to go to - it's a Wii party for a 5 year old. Hopefully there will be beer.
Sunday we have church, Sunday school and then I have a lunch date with one of my buddies who moved away and abandoned me two years ago. She was a transplant too and had her son right before I had Danny, so I got to learn from her trials and tribulations.... and then she left. But I'm looking forward to seeing her and catching up. Unfortunately she's a health-nut, and now I'm 20+ lbs overweight, so THAT is kind of embarrassing, but hey... c'est la vie.

Did I mention that next weekend is our ten year anniversary? Technically we've been together since 1993 - but legally since 1998. It's hard to imagine. How can you be so different and yet still be the same? That's one for the philosophy class, eh?

Well, we have a date with Danny for lunch today. So I need to get in the shower so as not to embarrass my 6 year old in front of all of his cool friends. (I say this with total sarcasm).

Did I mention that I played paintball last weekend? With a group of 16 year olds? Did I mention that my freakin' muscles still hurt? Did I mention that I'm no longer 'cool'? I'm that crazy old lady that the kids laugh at... oh well. I guess there's worse things to be. At least I'm not the nutty cat lady that lives alone at the end of the street with 40 feral cats- which is what my friend Tray always thought I'd be.... (ya, thanks for the confidence, Tray!)
Can you pick me out of the crowd in the picture below? What? Was it the flannel that tipped you off? I felt the need to wear pink underneath so that people wouldn't mistake me for a man and aim at me unnecessarily. It's sad that I have to think of that... Maybe I should start wearing makeup or something... Suggestions?