Monday, August 30, 2010

The Old Gray Mare Just Ain't What She Used to Be

It's 9:47 p.m. as I write this...

I'm flipping exhausted.

Remember back when it was time to go OUT at 10:00 p.m.??? Cripes! What have I become?

Wanna know why I'm so tired????

Because I spent 2 and 1/2 hours up at the school tonight - VOLUNTEERING for my kids' activities.

Cripes, again!

Everything from reading to the class to nature walks to working in the school garden to (eeek) handling reptiles.

WTF? (my mom loves that comment - she can cuss without really cussing)

Where did I go? How did I become a middle aged stay-at-home-mom? Why can I make a mean lasagna now but can't run a half a mile without feeling faint and nauseous?

Did I mention I have to call the exterminator tomorrow? (ADHD is kicking in... sorry) because we have MICE? Ack. Every time I go out to the garage, I see them skittering all over the freakin' place. Ack. Perhaps I'll borrow a reptile from the 3rd grade exhibit to 'take care of business'... :)

Next week I'm going to be 41. (shhhhhhhh) Ally still thinks I'm closer to 80. (ouch)

I don't know which is worse, being 40 and feeling 80 or being 80 and feeling 40. Either way, I'm not sure how it happened. You blink, it's gone.

NOT that I'm saying I want to go back... no. no. no.

It's just strange that these same eyes are looking out of a face that I don't really recognize.

And what the hell are liver spots, by the way?

I guess it beats the alternative.

One of my friends (of my Viviene Westmoreland family) took his own life on August 3rd.

It's been tough.

What to tell the kids?
When do we all feel better?
What to do to help?




One of my Mark's high school buddies said it best at the Memorial service when he said, 'the devil came in and stole my friend in a vulnerable moment.'

He nailed it.

I just wish my friend had seen the devil coming for him. Maybe he could've dodged him.

I've danced with the devil in my past. I'm so glad I made it out alive.

I swear, there's a separate God for idiots and children.

I shouldn't be alive today. (Me, being in the 'idiot' category)

Seeing Danny's face when I told him tonight that I was volunteering for the 'reptile' exhibit at school and hearing him say 'YAY, MOM!' was priceless.

I'm glad the devil decided that I wasn't worth it...

RIP Mark. You are missed every day, my brother.

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Woobie Addiction

Wanna hear something funny?

My son and I both have a 'woobie'.

His is called 'blankee' and mine is called a 'snuggie'

I guess I've passed on my love of all things tactile.

I'm thinking that it's like love at first sight, or feel, in this case.

Danny's blankee came to us not via a baby shower or the usual way, but from Delta airlines.

Before he turned two, we went to NH for Christmas. You've heard the old adage, 'you can't get there from here'? Well that applies to all flights into NH. Of course there it sounds like:

"You can't get theyah from heyah"

But once again I'm wandering. (Hey, it's easy to do at 3:31 a.m.)

After several layovers, stopovers, cancelled and delayed flights we were finally on our way to our final destination and my poor baby was exhausted. The flight attendant was kind enough to cover him as he slept on my lap with one of those navy blue 'freebie' blankets (remember how they used to have those in the 'olden days'?) and he has refused to let go ever since.

I used to panic that he'd lose it and never be able to sleep again. I would ask family and friends who were flying to "pick-up" a blanket or two on their flights for use as back-up.

Did you know that there's a difference in airline blankets? Yup, neither did I. But I tell you what.. my son knew and knows. His blanket is his blanket for better or worse and it works for him.

Now I on the other hand....

I received my snuggie as a borderline joke gift this Christmas. I was complaining, as usual, about how cold I was.

But.... here's the thing....

When you complain via Facebook... you get results.

The next thing I know, not even an hour after posting my discomfort, a snuggie arrives at my front door.

(Thank you Lisa!)

Now, for those of you who may not know, the snuggie lives up to the hype.

It DOES keep you warm!

It DOES keep your hands free!

and it IS addicting

It's not the warmth factor that got me.

It's the damn tag.

Oh my gosh. It's like crack cocaine.

I swear it's why I'm not sleeping!

I don't even wear the dang thing anymore! I just hang onto the sleeve and run it through my fingers.
Over and over and over again.

My son, who's eight, has the good sense to put his blanket aside to fall asleep. But I can't let go!

I'll have to see if there's a 12-step program for this one.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Paulette the menace to society

Ummmm... Hello...... My name is Amy....... don't know if you remember me or not. It's been a while.

Sheesh! A while is an understatement!

I am actually being shamed into blogging again by someone in New Hampshire... (you know who you are, BRIAN). He used the classic combination of flattery and smack-down all in one. So, here we are...

One of the reasons I stopped writing was due to 'circumstances' beyond my control.

One of our friends was in a horrible car accident just after New Years and I took on the responsibility of keeping a daily blog as to his status and progress for about 3+ months. I have learned more than I ever hoped to know about brain injuries. If you want to read his amazing story, you can check it out at: If you start from the very bottom you can see what a journey he and his family have had to take this year.

As for our little corner of the world, the kids are great (I think). I dunno... I haven't seen them in weeks! They are doing the 'Camp Buelo' thing. The in-laws offered to take the kids for a couple of weeks.... and I have YET to offer to take them back!

God love 'em... they ALL sound exhausted. :)

I just got back from a visit to New Hampshire.

An entire week with the folks.

Just me.

and them.

and the dog.

Paulette, the dog, has mixed feelings about me.

Granted, I'm fun, but damn, I rocked her world when I showed up there at my folks' house.

They've all settled in to a comfortable routine and she is the alpha leader.

I, on the other hand, am Queen Bee, and will bow to no one, man NOR beast.

We had a struggle, needless to say.

The bitch bit me.

'What did you DO to her, Amy?' my mom says.

'Nothing, Ma.... she just whirled around and got me!'

'I find that very hard to believe... that she would do that... she's a good girl'

(which apparently, I, as her first-born, am not)

I've known for quite some time that I was not the favorite child. I've come to terms with that. But now I rank below the damn dog. Wow!

Friggin' Paulette.

I guess I should mention that she comes up to about mid shin and weighs in at 17 lbs.

Doesn't make her any less of a bitch though!

Look what this vicious thing is doing to that poor teletubbie.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


What have I done?

Apparently the chaos of home hasn't been quite hectic enough.

Let's throw a road trip into the mix!!! Yeee Haw!


Yup, I've gone and done it now...

I booked tickets for the kids and I to go to New Hampshire in December for five days... FIVE...... and NO, that's not a typo... the kids and I..... nope, no spouse.

Holy crap... (actually, i accidentally typed 'holly' crap - which is kinda funny, but i digress)

Two fun filled days of travelling with two children who subscribe to the belief of 'perpetual motion' -

Along with 3 fun filled days in an 800 square foot house that is sure to be missing the 'necessary' child friendly babysitting options (i.e. video games, movies, television, computer, etc.)

And... BONUS... it's New Hampshire... so it's freakin' COLD!

again... *sigh*

This is how my children were dressed the last time we went up North...... in AUGUST - they were freezing then.. how are they going to be in DECEMBER?


And this is them just after we landed and got into the rental car on our last trip to New England.
They look so cute, don't they?
Looks can be deceiving.
Allison had just thrown up because she ate too much crap that we threw at her to keep her quiet on the plane. Danny had just gotten through with his dry heaves because his sister had just finished throwing up in the rental car and his stomach strength leaves a little to be desired.

Watch out Mom and Dad - you're in for five days of fun!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Do you ever just feel completely overwhelmed?

Every once in a while I just lose it entirely. It's like my eyes are suddenly opened to the true amount of chaos in my world.

...and it ain't pretty.

I know that you're supposed to just take one thing at a time and consider it an accomplishment, but man... when the projects all seem monumental it's hard to really wrap your head around it.

It seems like there's always little things that get in the way of beginning the BIG things.

As I stand at my back door looking out into the yard (which everyone else in the neighborhood can see as well) all I can do is *sigh* and back away from the door. There is just so much to do!

fences to be mended
gates to be power washed, sanded and painted
landscaping to be done
lawn to be cut
rubbish/debris to be removed


So what do i do??? Do I take the initiative, roll up my sleeves and start working?


I play Bejewled.

(I am rolling my eyes as I type this)

You know what???? This is what I'll do.... I'm going to post a 'BEFORE' picture of my backyard.

Then, perhaps, I can be shamed, (whooops sorry, I meant to say MOTIVATED! Yay!!) into accomplishing something -

Keep your fingers crossed that the 'AFTER' picture doesn't look worse!

Good lord, I just went out to take the pictures and now I'm really in panic mode!
Any advice is much appreciated.

~of course we can always hope for rain! (she says hopefully!!!)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Yet another little epiphany


I hate the fact that I am so incredibly passive/aggressive. It's one of those traits where you KNOW your reaction is coming, but dammit... you just can't seem to help it.

Know what I mean?

Here's example number one...

(names changed to protect the guilty)

I'm angry today at 'someone'.... let's just say for the sake of argument his name is 'Rick'

so here's the deal. Do I say, 'Rick' I'm angry with you.....

oh HELL no....

I go and hang out at someone else's house because..... 'that'll show him'

WTF... really????

Here's the kicker... 'Rick' doesn't give a wing-ding because 'Rick' isn't home.

So stupid... you have to laugh at yourself.

I do this crap all the time. I get mad and do the 'I'll show YOU' routine and end up doing something equally as ridiculous like -not putting the dishes away- oooohhhhhh - impressive!!!

Yup, 20 years of therapy....

..... useless .....

But... We had a GREAT Halloween...

Just look at my monsters!

Hopefully we can save them before their teeth rot out of their heads!
I'm not going to mention that I snagged all of the Hershey's miniatures (that are now gone)......

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


No no no no no
What do you mean my baby is growing up?

no no no
My baby boy is going to his first sleep-over on Friday night.

Granted, it's a friend he's had since kindergarten..
Granted, his Mom is a teacher at our school district
Granted, he has two older and a younger brother.
I asked him if he wanted to take Pooplet (see prior posts) and he said 'Mommmm, Puleeze'
I asked him if he wanted to take his 'blanket' and he said 'of course... and my armadillo too!'
I told him that I'd miss him if he went... and again with the 'Mommmm, Puleeze' baby...

again... * sigh*

Did i mention that Allison apparently gets her 'surliness' from me...

case and point...
Think I'm in a little trouble here, or what?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Happy Anniversary

Did I mention that I love my husband?

I'm sure I don't say it enough (does anyone?)

He's a good guy. No, really.... he's a GOOD guy!

He puts up with more than his fair share of $hit and never complains. He just nods his head alot and says... 'uh hmmm'

That's a bonus.

We've been married for 11 years. Eleven. Wow. Even typing that looks funny. I still remember on our wedding day that Father Mario said that we should go out to breakfast (at Denny's) before all of the hullaballoo started and really take stock in what we were doing. FOR....THE...REST....OF...OUR...LIVES...

Things have changed, things have happened: kids have been born, family members have died, jobs have come and gone - new friends, new houses, new worries, new issues, new hobbies, new trials, new tribulations. Yada, yada, yada.

One thing has remained the same.

I love my husband.

I still get that 'butterfly' feeling in my stomach when I see him and I don't expect to.

I still marvel at the way he handles the kids - whether they're being good, or bad, or if mama needs a nap.

I still think he's the smartest person I know... (well... not trivia-wise... that's me)

I still believe that he can protect me, and Danny and Al from just about anything. Lightning, hurricaines, intruders, Bob Howard.... anything!

He lets me trim his eyebrows.... I mean really.... How many guys let their women do that?

He made me a chicken quesadilla for lunch.

He keeps his mouth shut when I add green beans to dinner - the kids don't even know that he hates them.

He travels with me, even though I'm a psychotic traveler that has no business being on any form of mass transportation.

Last weekend, he stopped watching the Cowboys play (his #1 love... after his family) to film me and the kids making cookies...

He tries to put my clothes away (even though he's color-blind and I color coordinate everything in my closet)

He loves me.

And I've never questioned it.

He still kisses me every time he leaves the house.

He still gives me the 'good spot' on the couch.

He is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me.

...and I love him.

Happy Anniversary Ricardo... (spouse)

breakfast is my treat this weekend... Looking forward to 50 more years with you, love.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Just so you don't think I'm completely inept

What can I say? the girl LOVES to cook! She's actually great at it. no lie! She made meatloaf last night and it was excellent. Danny says that her meatloaf is his favorite.
Just FYI - 7 year old boys don't say things just to make you 'feel good'. He honestly thinks so!
But... we started young...

My kids have made so many baked goods in their lifetime. It's amazing we're not all 500 lbs.

and the fun continues!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Polish up that trophy!

Yup, the 'Mother of the Year' trophy is coming my way! I'm SURE of it! There's no question!!

Would you like to hear why I'm so confident that I'll be the next recipient????

Of course you do...

because it will make you that much more positive that even the 'Octo-Mom' is a more able parent than I am....

As many of you know, I don't deal well with mayhem, pressure, clutter and randomness...

(I have enough little voices in my head that make things confusing enough, so adding to that just results in a complete breakdown and usually assuming the fetal position, beer in hand.)

Well... I had no idea that 2nd grade would be this hard. No.... REALLY! I'm not kidding! It's ridiculous! Danny's math abilities have already FAR surpassed mine (to the point that Daddy has to help him with his homework, because, again, Mama assumes the fetal position and cowers in a corner).

There's this new crap where they have to figure stuff out in a window pane pattern or some such nonsense

See???? I told you!!! I did a google search for 'window pane math' and guess what? Cy-Fair ISD is the only one that does it. Lucky me... Lucky, lucky, lucky me...

But, I digress... Actually, I don't know why I was even going on that tangent... I guess to add to my argument that the Octo-Mom has me beat...

Anyways... Danny comes home from school on Monday, homework in hand, attitude galore, and hiccuping like a crazy drunk hobo.

Now, Mondays are stressful around here because after waiting for 45 minutes in car line (the work of the devil, I'm convinced), we need to get home, get homework done, have a snack, get to religious ed, get home and get fed, bathed and brushed and bedded. This is what happens on a "normal" Monday. .. Adding the hiccups to the mix just put us all over the edge.

"Mama?" he says...
"What Dan?"
"I need some hiccup medicine."

You may not be aware that there is hiccup medicine. It's all psychosomatic in my household... Here are my options:
1. pickle juice
2. worcestershire sauce
3. lemon juice

Any one of these, delivered in a spoon, to a member of my family, shocks the system into forgetting about the hiccups. Really... it works.

So in the interest of curing Danny's hiccups *quickly* I gave him a spoonful of pickle juice.

"Um, Mama?"
"What Dan?"
"Um.... hic..... it..... didn't..... hic.... work"
"Oh for Pete's sake, Danny.... Here, try this"
A spoonful of Worcestershire sauce coming up!

Fast forward thirty minutes... Mama has forgotten all about the 'medicine' and is throwing Danny in the car to head to Religious Ed.

"Here, have a cookie and a Danimal...." (liquid yogurt, essentially)

*My stomach is reeling, just typing this

Long story short... well.... you can imagine how green this poor boy was when I picked him up at church.

He went right to bed, without dinner, clutching his stomach saying, 'Mama? Why did you make me eat/drink all that? You made me sick."

I've got a shelf all ready for my trophy...