Monday, December 22, 2008

Is it wrong to want a glass of merlot at 8:34 am on a Monday?

So it's 8:35 a.m. now, does THAT make it okay????

A lot of people get really 'jazzed' up for the holiday season. I am definitely NOT one of them.
I see Christmas decorations as 'clutter' - not just in my house, but in my brain.
I see the holidays as a colossal waste of money, time and effort.

Christmas does not bring out the best in people. Am I just jaded? I swear people get nastier this time of year. I don't know if it's the pressure or just the fact that there are more of them out there.
I was at Toys R Us yesterday and you would have thought I was in a war zone. People were fighting over the dumbest things. There was junk EVERYWHERE. I even found something that Allison had asked for from Santa - naturally it was the ONLY one, but it had been battered and bruised and there were pieces missing. I brought it to the front to see if I could get a discount and was number one, DENIED (I guess they can return items for a refund) and number two, TRAMPLED by families with kids in tow. They were vicious about getting to the front of the lines, kids were screaming, I couldn't speak to the manager because she was cleaning up vomit in aisle four and there was a communication barrier between most of the employees and the customers. Fun, fun, fun.

My main goal right now is to not let my kids sense it or think my stress has anything to do with them.

Every morning the kids get up to search for 'Christopher', the elf on a shelf. For those of you who haven't heard of it, the elf is essentially a spy for Santa and every night it hides in a new place in the house for the kids to find. Christopher is the name that they picked out for him. Christopher has been pretty darn creative with his hiding spots (depending on how much wine he's consumed, I'm assuming). Currently he is residing in a flower vase, with a candy cane, on top of the 'fridge. Yesterday he was ensconced in a plant, tomorrow, who knows... The kids get so excited to try and find him every day. They are hysterical.

Right now they are watching 'Iron Man' - which I know is wholly inappropriate - but Daddy promised that they could see it. Yeah, Daddy. Of course, they are not that 'into' it, as they also have bubble wrap to pop - oh what fun. Yet another reason that Mama wants to get her drink on so early in the morning.

Daddy is currently working on a roof down at NASA installing some sort of antenna thing. Naturally the high temp today is going to be 32 with sleet and a wind chill in the 20's. Sweet! He's LOVING life! Tomorrow the temp is supposed to be in the 70's - Houston... gotta love it.

The saving grace for my kids right now is that they have my mom here. They just LOVE their Meme. I swear, she's like the baby whisperer. When she puts the kids to bed they actually sleep! I'm NOT going to let her leave in the Spring.....

Iron Man just ended and Danny was rocking out to 'Iron Man' by Black Sabbath - there was head banging involved and everything.... too funny - Daddy's boy. Party's over, back to work

As my mom would say, 'Merry F&##( Christmas'


Saturday, November 15, 2008

I have NO business being single... let alone a single parent!

Sorry for being such a slacker lately but sheeesh....

Rick has been out of town since Tuesday and it seems as though we have truly gone to 'hell in a hand basket'.

Rick has been working in an alternate universe doing manual labor in Newark (yup, that's Jersey, folks). He's been working installing antennas (antennae?) on top of Continental airlines' terminal to help expedite baggage handling for you and me (the collective 'we') - do you like how I'm embracing change or what???? The only problem is that the poor guy hasn't done manual labor since the day I met him - circa 1993 - and he CERTAINLY hasn't had to do manual labor in conditions where it's "Windy with rain and snow showers. Highs in the low 40s and lows in the upper 20s." - Odds are 2 to 1 that he comes home with a raging case of pneumonia.

Although he was kind of excited the first day (excited enough to take a picture anyway) the excitement has since worn off. The poor guy is weary. He's had a 6:20 am wake up call everyday and has been getting in at 1 and 2 o'clock in the morning. Nope, no typo. The boy has been BUSY!

All that being said. He's basically incommunicado, so I'm flying solo here. (and NOT doing a very good job unfortunately).

In just the time that Rick has been gone, I've managed to get (and get rid of) a dog -(more about THAT story later). Allison has been reprimanded at school for 'not keeping her clothes on' - Danny is running a fever of 103. My ceiling is hanging on by a thread and I am doing the same. Can you believe my doctor told me no more baths? It's killin' me! So not only am I itching like a flea-ridden cur, I can only take a luke-warm shower - no baths allowed. Madness, I say... Madness! For those of you who may not be aware of my oh so personal situation (you MUST be outside of my zip code) I've been diagnosed with having sensitive skin and guttate psoriasis which is embarrassingly itchy. So far nothing has alleviated it but stress certainly aggravates it. yeah, me!

Well... back to the dog thing.... It all started with Laurie and ended with Misty. Long story short we were going to adopt a lab mix, Laurie but... some other folks got her first.

So off we go to a shelter and bring home a dog that we thought was part greyhound, part something or other.... Her name is Misty and we got three different stories about HER story. Things like... her owner left for Iraq and had no other family to she was born there to she was a runaway !?!?!?!?

Well... the kids fell in love (as did I) and after an overnight debate, we brought her home. Fast forward two days and we find out that she's part pit bull, doesn't like men, is verrrrry protective of me and poor Danny is afraid to move in his own house for fear of the dog.

Needless to say, Misty went back to the shelter - which, by the way, is a no-kill shelter so we were convinced that she'd find a new forever home.

*side note* Danny has put Misty's dog tag on his stuffed monkey and sleeps with the damn thing every night - I don't know if he's scarred for life or what....

Now Allison is concerned that since Daddy has been gone as well..... did I find HIM a new forever home just like Misty??? 'No, Al, Daddy has no such luck.'

I just went through our pictures of the dog to post one and apparently I deleted them all.... hmmmmm ... I didn't do it intentionally... hmmmmm... my mind is taking on a life of it's own!!!

We did get some good news this week! The folks will be here sometime after turkey day. They're leaving the frozen tundra of northern New England and heading south to the frozen swamplands of southeast Texas. (Can you believe it's 33 degrees as I'm writing this!!!) Hopefully they survive the drive down with each other in a van full of $hit and a doped up geriatric cat with no nose.... wouldn't want to be in THAT vehicle!

And then we'll be getting a visit from my dear friend Mrs. Prescott the day after Thanksgiving! She hasn't been to Texas since her infamous visit of 1994 - (Richmond Ave is still reeling from THAT one) but things have changed since then.... :-) We're older now, much, much calmer and have kids (so we can't sleep until noon anymore) Regardless, it'll be an adventure, as it always is when Tray and I get together (even at almost 40).

Danny is running a fever still, so he's pretty puny. God love him... he tries so hard to feel better. It's like the mind is willing even if the body ain't. My kids have been blessed with the gift of running ridiculously high fevers. They tend to hallucinate and their eyes roll back in their heads. It's pretty impressive. When you can get a doctor at an emergency clinic to say 'holy crap' - you know you're on to something!

Allison is in love. I was checking my email on Friday and she asked if she could draw. This is what she "drew" - note that LOVE is underlined... not once - twice. LOVE LOVE - good lord... give me strength. At least Jacob is a nice boy. :-) His mom reprimanded me for putting pop-tarts in Al's lunch kit. I told her to wait until her second born was Al's age... she'd be scrambling for something in the pantry too that wasn't moldy or raw.... I thought I was doing pretty well sending her with a pop-tart instead of a half-eaten box of croutons.
The natives are restless and wanting some breakfast... time to resume my mom duties...
*note to Ricardo.... HURRY HURRY HURRY!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

As promised...

The ALWAYS festive Mama.....

Okay, my little sugar bugs were up and dancing around early early early today.

Still on a Halloween high I imagine. Miss Allison was up with me at 3 a.m. discussing the nastiness of mosquitoes as she was scratching away. That was when Daddy decided to come home. Luckily for him, WITH poker winnings... We bandaged Miss Cupcake up and sent her along to bed, I fell back to sleep for a couple more hours and now, here we are.

Isn't it funny that kids STILL get excited about Saturday morning cartoons? They have access to the junk 24/7 - but Saturdays are still the 'promised land' of crappy TV. They are actually even being quiet and leaving me alone.... (as a choir of angels sings 'hallelujah' in the background)

I know that the grandfolks are dying for pics of the kiddos in their glory for without further ado... here are those: and I will continue with my rants afterwards. If anyone wants to stick around. Does anyone actually read this? or do they just look at the pictures (like playboy?)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Please forgive the laziness

okay, okay, okay... so I discovered facebook.....

I know, I know.... there are more constructive things to do with my time. But man! it is SO addicting! (or is it addictive?) Either way... it's killin' me.

Getting little updates - snippits, if you will, about people's comings and goings in their daily lives. It's like being a voyeur... but legal. sorta... I dunno. The entire thing is totally weird to me. I love reading about people doing every day stupid things. I guess I'd rather do that than actually DO the stupid everyday things that I'm SUPPOSED to be DOING. YES! Yet another form of procrastination! Man, I'm good! :-)

Well, today is Halloween and the kids just got back from trick-or-treating. They came back sugared-up to the hilt. Bouncing off the walls with a stash covering the kitchen table. Literally. Check this out.

Rick and I have already picked through and gotten out the stuff that we like. (Parents' prerogative - we rule) and gotten rid of all of the hard candy and junk that we deem as 'bad' (unwrapped crap) and this is what they have left. Crazy, huh? You can see how miserable they are.....
I will be writing more tomorrow and posting more pictures of Danny's field day from school. It was hysterical. He had to 'herd pigs' (no, not real pigs) and i have a general contractor coming to look at my roof and ceiling to see if it can be fixed. - keep those fingers crossed. but for right now, there's a margarita SCREAMING my name and I must run before it wakes my children.... :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I want that, and that, and that, and that, and that....

Kids can't watch television anymore without being bombarded with this, that AND the other.

As it gets closer to Christmas - (the season apparently starts in August these days) more and more commercials are on with things that the kids just HAVE to have.
Naturally it's every piece of crap imaginable. From Pixos (google it, it's stupid) to some kind of 'easy bake oven wannabe' to Power Ranger weapons to My Little Pony to RC cars and 'Swim To Me Puppy' (that's really dumb).
I think Allison actually saw a harp in a catalog and said that she wanted THAT too. !!?!?!!?


Every time they say they want something I tell them to write it down to ask Santa. I figure if they can get motivated enough to write down something they want, they must really want it. The other stuff is just fluff that's being shoved in their face by the ad agencies.

Needless to say, they've YET to actually write anything down. Too much effort to find a writing utensil apparently.

Well, the Army Corp came out today. Poor kid looked like he was about 21 - said this was his first assessment. He had just flown in from Honolulu. He noticed my Red Sox sweatshirt (yes, I'm all bundled up today, it's in the 60's) and we proceeded to chit chat for 20 minutes about the joy of Big Papi and what a jerk Johnny Damon is and how he belongs in NYC.
He had gone to MIT and was volunteering here because he had seen so much on TV about the damage.
To be truthful, I was kind of embarrassed that I didn't have more damage like a sailboat in my laundry room or something cool. I told him to go and use the resources somewhere else. I could live with my buckets in the living room for a little while longer. Hell, we're not even going to meet our deductible. I told him to go and help out someone with an entire tree in their kitchen.

Let's all pray for clear weather until my contractor can make it back.....

Took Allison to the doctor on Tuesday. Poor thing not only has mono, but 2 ear infections and a sinus infection to boot! Lucky girl! No wonder she's been so miserable! Who could blame her?

I got a phone call from one of the parents of a kid in her class. Apparently my idea of nutrition has caused an uproar in the classroom. When did pop tarts become public enemy number one? So I didn't get to the grocery store over the weekend. So what if she had Ding Dongs, Pop Tarts, a juice box, Frito's, Twizzlers and a somewhat iffy apple. At least I tried. I explained to the other Mom that by child #2, your ideals become a little less 'strict', shall we say.

Heck, I'm just happy that I haven't killed that child yet. We're doing A OK!

*Note to Mom, I took my meds today* :-) (while giving a thumbs up)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Is anybody even reading this or am I doing this for my health?

When did I get old?

It's just not fair.
Now that I can stay up as late as I want.... I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
Now that I can eat ice cream for dinner.... I don't want to gain weight.
Now that I don't have to clean my room... I'm embarrassed if I don't.
Now that I can watch R rated movies.... they bore me.

What the hell?

I went grocery shopping tonight and finished up just as it was getting dark. 'Gimme Shelter' by the Rolling Stones came on the radio as I was driving home and I was thinking... "I should really hurry up - nothing good ever happens after dark". Good Lord. Who Am I?

Is this the same person that used to drink a 12 pack daily? At a bar? Where everyone knew my name? And they certainly didn't expect me to leave before closing time!
We used to work from 5 am until 8 pm go out drinking until 1 - 1:30 am and get up and do it all again. DAILY.
I've ridden on motorcycles at 100 mph. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gone to NYC by myself. I moved to Texas from NH with $100 in my pocket. I've hitchhiked. I've lived in my car. I've been on road trips to foreign countries and stayed with people we didn't know. I've been in the 'kill zone' of a SWAT team. I've been in the back of a cruiser (more than once).
True, all of these things make me borderline stupid... but.... why am I so squirrelly now?
Hurry up and get home before dark? What in the hell is that? Is it getting old? Or is it being a Mom?
Is it wanting to be here to protect them or to be here to catch them doing all of the things that YOU did?

BTW - The Patriots are trying their damnedest to make up for the Red Sox loss last night and keep all of New England out of a deep dark depression. Thank you Pats.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Remember when?

Remember back in the days when we had our teddy bears? Weren't they named something really creative like 'teddy'?

I honestly don't think I had a stuffed animal that was an absolute favorite - at least none that I can remember. I know that I always loooooved the satin edges on blankets and the little triangles that were made from the stitches... still love them to this day. Can't explain it. Just a tactile thing, I guess. Anyway... I digress, yet again..... surprise!

Well, both of my kids have a favorite stuffed animal. Danny has had his for a long time - Al's has been around for a long time, but has only become her favorite for about the last year or so. Danny also has a bonus blanket that sleeps with him - (he'd DIE if he knew I was talking about this) The funny thing is that he got this blanket when we flew up to New Hampshire before Al was even born. Our flight had been delayed going from Houston to Atlanta so we missed our connection to New England - They put us on another flight from Atlanta to Hartford and proceeded to separate all three of us. Rick was in 10B, very pregnant Amy was in 27F and not-even-two year old Danny was in 44J - Brilliant, eh? Needless to say, we paid the extra $50 for the upgrade and all moved on up to 1st class. All that being said - Danny got an airline blanket - which promptly became HIS blanket - and he hasn't let go of it since. He loves the thing! We've tried to get him backups, but he knows the difference... apparently this was the 'holy grail' of airline blankets. God love him, at least it was sorta free.... But... once again... I digress... Here are the stuffed animals in question... any thoughts on their names?

Okay, I'm going on the assumption that no one was able to *guess* - unless you have insider information (grandparents). The Boxer (who would buy that for a newborn baby girl????!?!?) is named Lucia and the Monkey is named Pooplet.

How many of you guessed correctly?

Yeah. I thought so.

Does this mean my kids are slightly off center? or gifted and talented? I'd love to think it's the latter, but their gene pool suggests the former.

I remember as a kid having a guinea pig that we named Kathy (with a K, of course) because THAT was our favorite name. When my brother and I played house as kids we'd fight over who got to be Kathy. Mind you, my brother is now 6'1" and 225 lbs., plays rugby and has a questionable moral compass, but dammit at the time he wanted to be KATHY!

*you know I am going to get bruises for typing that, but it is just so worth it to have it in print for all to see*
My mom bought the kids some souvenirs from her trip overseas which they immediately put on this morning. She also sent some of her souvenir cups from all of her cocktails from the ship - as you can see from the photos - my children knew exactly what to do - They do their Mama proud. :-)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Why would anyone want to run for office?

I just don't get it.

There's no way in blazes that I could have run for office or even married someone who wanted to run for office. Especially now in the days of technology where you can't even go to the bathroom without worrying that you're being videotaped on someones cell phone. How would these pictures look if you were the 'first-lady to-be'?

Yup.... That's a tube top that says... "Delicious"

Straight out of Walmart. Does it get any better than that?

Wait... Yes, yes it does get better than that.... case and point....

Have you ever seen so much electric blue eyeshadow in this decade in YOUR LIFE?????

Granted, it was for a 'white trash' party - but unfortunately we found our costumes straight out of our own closets. *sigh* The same crowd has a Halloween party coming up. Can't wait to see what a debacle THAT turns out to be. Thankfully, we've all found our calling in life, and public office doesn't seem to be a part of any of it!

Update on the roof leak. Last night I was coming downstairs from reading to the kids and was bipped in the head by a drip of water... mind you it was raining.... but the stairs are covered by the attic.... uh oh... apparently our a/c condenser has decided that it wants a piece of the action as well. So here we go with ceiling wet spot #5 - pretty awesome, huh? Love it!

Still waiting on the general contractor to make an appointment to come out to see us -

still waiting on the a/c guys to call back to make an appointment to come out to see us -

still waiting for my meds to kick in...

still waiting for the kids to go to bed.

Still waiting to win the lotto.

Yada, yada, yada. and so it goes...

at least I'm not running for office!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Plunk, plunk, plunk

Why oh why, didn't it rain on Friday?

Ugh... Yup... You guessed it. We just got rain for the first time since Ike made his guest appearance in South East Texas.

Al came running in.... 'MAMA... MAMA! Dere is WATAH comin in da HOUSE!!!!'

Naturally it couldn't just come through the ceiling... no. no. no. too easy... the light fixture is the only way to go! So now it looks like I've got to get a roofer, a sheetrocker, a pattern guy, because of course my ceiling has some sort of stupid texture on it, a painter AND an electrician (where's Skyline Electric when I need it?) (that's a private joke for YOU, Mom :-)

Here's the kicker.... I'm not sure what our deductible is. We have two different ones. One for Windstorm and Hail ($2350) and once for Tropical Cyclone ($4700) - Of course you know which one the insurance company is going to call it!!!!! Ugh.

The reason I wished that it had rained on Friday is because we went and 'donated' all of our money to the Coushatta tribe over the weekend. For those of you in New England, you can relate it to donating to the Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun complexes. :-(

To celebrate our ten year anniversary, Rick and I got the bright idea that it would be fun to go and steal some money from the tribe and run back home... yeah, right.... they took our money, comp'ed us a $15 breakfast and called it a weekend. We had a good time though, it was nice to get away and have some grown-up time. The in-laws had a great time spoiling the hell out of the kids and unfortunately for ALL of us, reality has set in.

Mom just got home from her trip abroad. I asked her what her very favorite thing that she saw was. (Mind you, she went to Barcelona and all over Italy).

She says.... 'the mosaics in Pompeii.'

I said, 'really? were they breathtaking?'

she said, 'oh there were all types of penises'

Yup.... no lie.... even before discussing the Vatican.... Penises in Pompeii... God Bless her.....

Okay, enough fun... gotta do research to see what the hell I need to do to get FEMA out here and get some food stamps or something. Your government dollars at work! Wee hoo!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How to tell if you've been married too long....

Got this story from a friend of mine...

I'm posting this in honor of our ten year wedding anniversary... here's to you, honey! :-) xoxoxo

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.

The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes.

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'

The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long, scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled

'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'

*the irony is that I got this joke from my friend, Robyn*

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

What a long weekend THAT was...

First of all let me say... GO RED SOX! Woo hoo!

The post-season is where I usually join the Red Sox Nation. I am definitely a fair-weather-fan. I enjoy playoff baseball. I enjoy playoff football. Regular season stuff just doesn't interest me. It's like there's not enough at stake. There's not enough celebration at the end of the games - There's not enough agony at the end of the games. I dunno - I'm a little 'extreme' I guess. Also, with my attention span being what it is, the seasons are just entirely too long to hold my attention. A few weeks I can do.. a few months? Forget it. I also get too emotionally invested. For example, last night - I was exhausted, but still stayed up until 11:00 p.m. so I could see all of the post-game nonsense.
I remember back in 2004 during the series with the Yankees when we were down three games in the series - such a sick feeling - until the whole thing turned around... and there was a collective *gasp* in New England. (and a strange thing called hope that many of us had never felt before) Ahhhh... fond memories.
On a completely unrelated note... most of you that know me know that I LOVE beer. I always have. I just like the taste of it. I drink it like most people drink soda. LOVE it!
Well, here's the kicker... went to the doctor on Friday - nothing wrong, just a med-check - I told her that I was uncomfortable with this 20+ lbs that has camped out on my midsection and has refused to leave since I took steroids for a completely unrelated illness two years ago. Long story short, she prescribed a new med for migraines (?) that is supposed to be an appetite suppressant/mood stabilizer. One of the side effects is that anything carbonated tastes like dookie!
Beer tastes AWFUL.
It's like losing my best friend! I'm in limbo! Saturday night was the worst. Like a junkie without a fix, I was bouncing off the walls... my dear sweet neighbor, in an attempt to help, gave me a bloody mary, and then proceeded to 'freshen it up' about 40 times. About 1:30 a.m. after laying down in a bed that wouldn't stop spinning I decided that perhaps if I made myself sick I would feel better. - Good Lord, it was like being in college all over again. That's another reason I love my beer. I know my limits! I know how much is TOO much and when to say when - vodka is another thing altogether... ugh. god bless my family - they let me sleep until 11:00 and were very, very quiet when I finally hauled myself out of bed in the morning. I'm too old for this crap. On a more positive note, I've lost 3 pounds already so we'll see...
And now for something completely different....
We met with Danny's teacher yesterday. She had nothing but good things to say about him. The normal reading level for his age is Level 3 - He's reading at Level 12 - which is where they should be reading at the end of 1st grade. Yeah, Dan! We started him in Spanish lessons last week. He loved it. (Mostly because they gave him popcorn, but hey, whatever works).
Allison can't stop talking about Buelo and Buelis coming to visit this weekend. She's bragging about beating them at Candyland. Rick can't stop talking about going to Coushatta (sp?) this weekend. Weeeee hoooo! Child free weekend, Baby!!!! God bless Buelo and Buelis!!! It's a win/win situation. The grandparents are excited, the kids are excited and Rick and I are ECSTATIC!

And again, here's my ADD showing, but... Here's our Halloweens through the ages.... enjoy! :-)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Definition of 'Woobley'

...appearing or acting unsteady, erratic, irregular, nervous or anxious....

Ever get 'woobley'?

As a general rule I do whenever I have to travel. Whether it be by plane, train or automobile, if it's outside my comfort zone, I'm woobley. I don't even like buses for that matter. Any situation that's out of my control is not a comfortable one for me. But here's a new one... today I had to read to a class of first graders. Twenty five, six and seven year olds staring at me with their oh-so-innocent little faces. Before I even left the house I had to hit the bathroom about 17 1/2 times. My mouth was dry, my face was numb, passed the point of delirium.... (whoops - that's a song by Green Day called Brain Stew). But I digress.. I walked into the 'open concept' classroom - don't even get me STARTED on THAT one! - and was greeted by Danny's teacher Miss Sigmund.

Remember that grade school teacher that you just loved? The pretty one with the long blond hair that always smiled and never yelled and told you how wonderful you were? (yeah, right) Well my friends, THAT is Danny's teacher. After the first time he met her, he felt the need to both hug her AND wrap his leg around her.

(Which we have since tried to impress upon him is NOT appropriate) As you can see by the look on his face in this picture, he's quite smitten and has promised to never ever get into trouble in Miss Sigmund's class.

Anyways, I was scheduled to read to the class today. I picked out some of the old favorites from the house and marched my happy self into the class. As I'm taking "Walter the Farting Dog" out of my satchel, I'm starting to realize that although potty humor is HUGE in my house, perhaps it's not quite appropriate at school. Yup.. that's when full blown woobley set in. I ended up reading 'Skippyjon Jones' in a muy muy soft voice a few times with my very best Spanish accent.

"My name is Skippito Friskito, (clap clap)

I fear not a single Bambito, (clap clap)

My moves are so mellow,

I'm sweet like the jello,

I get the job done yes, indeed-o" (clap clap)

Several teachers in the area must have been offended by my very best spanish accent because heads were popping up all over that 'open concept' like a freakin' prairie dog colony.

Such fun.

Did I mention that my mom is leaving tomorrow for Italy? I'm so excited for her. She's going to have a wonderful time, even if she is a bit woobley at the moment. Her doc prescribed her some anti-anxiety stuff - I told her to take one with a glass of wine and she'll be across the ocean before you can say 'Chihuahuas, cheese and crackers'.

I'm also very excited for my dad as he just finished up his cancer treatment this week. Did I mention that they were filling him with TB in the hopes of killing the cancer? Yeah, weird, I know. It makes you wonder, 'who in the world would have been the first to try that?' like who in the hell said, 'hey - let's eat that crab - YUM!' - they are so nasty looking!

I bet it was on a dare!

Okay, it's Friday, it's pizza night, it's beer night - oh wait... every night is potentially beer night! my kids are too quiet and i'm afraid... i'm very afraid.

Mom have a great trip - eat, drink and be merry - enjoy the sights, say hey to the pope for me.

Dad, don't go into a diabetic coma from eating all of the sweets that you'll be eating while mom is away!

Have a great weekend, y'all

Thursday, October 2, 2008

what's up with this?

For those of you without small children, you may not be aware of this show....

it's called "Yo Gabba Gabba".

Tell me.... do you think it's as disturbing as I do?

I love it, I love it, I love it.

Yes, that was a direct quote from my dear, sweet, loving mother. 'I love it,' she says.

And this is in direct response to my four year old pitching an ungodly fit. Why? Because her favorite dress was in the laundry.
In all honesty, she was just being too lazy to go upstairs and find a different one, but THAT is another matter.
My mom was on the phone talking about what she was going to do today, (Did I mention that she's leaving for Italy in two days?) when my dear Allison decided that she wasn't receiving quite enough attention.
After asking her nicely to go and get dressed, she refused and it turned into the "1..........2.............3!" standoff.
After much shouting, stomping, slamming, etc. My mother just cackled and said that she was going to be laughing all the way to her grave. Apparently I was a pretty atrocious child for a payback like this one. My only consolation at this point is that Allison's daughter is going to be exponentially WORSE!

Danny boy had his picture day at school today. Poor guy. He put on a golf shirt, looked cool, and then proceeded to button it up all the way. All he needed was a little pocket protector and he would have been good to go. Have any of you ever seen that commercial with the three little boys doing the robot dance? That's my Danny.

In the meantime, I'm partially dreading this weekend. It's going to be a little too jam-packed for my liking. Friday, Rick has band practice. Saturday, Rick has band practice and auditions for a new guitarist. Saturday night we have a birthday party to go to - it's a Wii party for a 5 year old. Hopefully there will be beer.
Sunday we have church, Sunday school and then I have a lunch date with one of my buddies who moved away and abandoned me two years ago. She was a transplant too and had her son right before I had Danny, so I got to learn from her trials and tribulations.... and then she left. But I'm looking forward to seeing her and catching up. Unfortunately she's a health-nut, and now I'm 20+ lbs overweight, so THAT is kind of embarrassing, but hey... c'est la vie.

Did I mention that next weekend is our ten year anniversary? Technically we've been together since 1993 - but legally since 1998. It's hard to imagine. How can you be so different and yet still be the same? That's one for the philosophy class, eh?

Well, we have a date with Danny for lunch today. So I need to get in the shower so as not to embarrass my 6 year old in front of all of his cool friends. (I say this with total sarcasm).

Did I mention that I played paintball last weekend? With a group of 16 year olds? Did I mention that my freakin' muscles still hurt? Did I mention that I'm no longer 'cool'? I'm that crazy old lady that the kids laugh at... oh well. I guess there's worse things to be. At least I'm not the nutty cat lady that lives alone at the end of the street with 40 feral cats- which is what my friend Tray always thought I'd be.... (ya, thanks for the confidence, Tray!)
Can you pick me out of the crowd in the picture below? What? Was it the flannel that tipped you off? I felt the need to wear pink underneath so that people wouldn't mistake me for a man and aim at me unnecessarily. It's sad that I have to think of that... Maybe I should start wearing makeup or something... Suggestions?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Random Acts of Kindness

Sometimes you just need to shoot somebody.

You know those days... the hostility just bubbles up out of you and affects (effects?) everyone around you. People at the grocery store shy away from you. Pets cower. Flowers wilt when you pass by. Even if you don't know what I'm talking about, just humor me and pretend I'm not the only one who has 'angry' days.
There are days that you just wake up in the morning scowling.. even before your feet hit the floor you think, 'ugh' and hope that the feeling will pass. As a general rule usually some candy corn is sufficient to get me out of my mood, but occasionally it turns to 'when was the last time I took my meds?' My mom and my husband are usually the first ones to ask if it's been a while since i remembered to take my pill. It's kind of scary that people can know you so well.
Today I woke up and sat up in bed growling. It's not the meds, it's just one of those days that you would rather stay under the covers. Unfortunately with two small kids that's just not a option. As I prepared for the worst and stomped in to wake up the kids for school, I opened my bedroom door and was immediately hit by a smell permeating the house.

My husband made me coffee.

He didn't have to make me coffee. He just did it. I didn't ask him to do it. I didn't even hint at wanting him to do it. He just did it out of the kindness of his heart before he left for work. He doesn't drink coffee. He didn't do it for himself. He just did it to be sweet.
How can you be angry when someone is thinking of ways to be kind to you?

Makes you want to "Pay it forward" doesn't it? Do something kind today. Even if the person doesn't tell you, it's appreciated at so many levels.

And now for your entertainment....

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Weren't these popular when we were kids?

After much debate, the kids have decided who they are going to be for Halloween... I was rather surprised by their choices.

Here's Danny as the 'Red Jungle Fury Power Ranger' guy - complete with cool Power Ranger moves - He just cracks me up... and then there's Allison who I really expected to go Princess on me... but nooooo - She knocks me for a loop and becomes 'BatmanGirl'

Just when you think you've got them figured out... they go and make up their own minds on you!
They were so crushed that I made them take off the costumes and put them away until Halloween - I think Danny would have slept in his mask if I had let him.

Well, tomorrow is Monday - and thank heaven for that. Allison had a little too much ice cream today... well... a LOT too much ice cream today. She went with me to WalMart and I bought her a chocolate shake (so she'd ride in the cart) - Bribery is a necessity in some situations. Trust me. Once we got home, the kids heard the ice cream truck and of course Daddy is the ultimate sucker for the ice cream man, so.... well.... you can guess the rest. The good thing is that I was forced to steam clean the carpets upstairs and wash out all of Danny's HotWheels & Matchbox cars. (A job I could have happily put off for another 4 years). All that being said... she's STILL going to school tomorrow. She was fine tonight (more than fine, she was downright feisty!) with no fever - just an upset tummy from too much of the good stuff. Does that make me a bad parent that I'm so willing (and looking forward to) sending her on in to school?

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Somebody help me.... there is currently a small child attached to my hip.

Miss Allison came into our room at 5 am-ish and has become my appendage. Needless to say, this has made typing and drinking coffee perilous at best.

Is there any reason for this behavior? What purpose does it serve her? Should I have gotten her a security blanket when she was younger? She still sucks her fingers and twirls her hair whenever she's tired or nervous. (The dentist said that she could 'cure' that when she turns 5 - I don't even want to know what that means.)

Someone once said that she's so needy because I didn't 'bond' with her when she was first born. (not that I could have helped that from the ICU). The child has been with me 24/7 since she was 6 days old. Can that much damage be done in the first few days that she needs to constantly be within a few inches of me?
Then there's the school of thought that I need to appreciate it now because sooner rather than later she'll be mortified by my very presence. I guess only time will tell. But for right now if she feels more comfortable leaning on me... then so be it.

Well doesn't that figure... one minute after writing that line - she decides that she's going to be a 'Power Ranger' - Danny & Al are performing their best fight moves.

There is a little boy on our street, Jack, who is enamoured with Power Rangers - Jungle Fury as well. Instead of Jack and Danny greeting each other with a 'hello' - they run to each other and whack each other in the head doing some elaborate spin kicks and pseudo-karate moves. So far we've only had one bloody nose so I think we're doing okay - But again... is this 'normal'? There are so many behaviors that just seem so foreign to me. I wonder if my kids are demented and perhaps more than a little 'off' -

I received a wonderful piece of advice from my very first best friend, Gina. She's a year older than me, but is blessed with two talented teenagers so she's on the opposite end of the parenting spectrum from me. I was there for the birth of her daughter - (if that's not a great means of birth control, I don't know what is....) and she had her son on my birthday (the day of her baby shower) so I got to be the stand-in and open all of the gifts - it was like a bonus birthday party! :-) She sent me an email the other day and said...
You alluded to the fact that you weren't looking forward to the "teen" years - I found the worst age so far was the "tween" years, those in between Elementary and High School...but amazingly if you stick with them the years to follow aren't that bad at all! Those "tween" years are more painful age because they are pressing for their independence from you (the parents), fighting the raging hormones, and then there's dealing with peer pressures which leads to all kinds of complicated judgement calls they don't want you to help them with...but they really do want you to be there. Be there for them, listen, and become their voice of reason, EVEN WHEN you don't want to or think you shouldn't...technically, we are only here to "guide" them on a path to living their own life. But you know all of this - your Mom was really good at that so I'm sure you learned enough from her to do just fine.

And the kids being kids - that's the best thing of all...such individuals they are!!! For the most part, it's a fun ride
Wonderful advice from a woman who knows.
I'm so thankful for all of my wonderful friends that I've kept in touch with over the years - sometimes more often than not. You have all filled a part of my heart and remain with me always - even when we don't speak for a while.
Y'all know who you are - and a HUGE thank you goes out to you. But for now, enjoy the sunrise and the cool Power Ranger moves of the kiddos.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Voulez vous

This has been such a long day today....

as many of you know, poor Miss Allison has been diagnosed with mono and has been feeling pretty crummy for about a month. Unfortunately, the doc said that it could continue for up to THREE months. Earlier today she was just WICKED.. we had to abort a trip to Target and suffer through several time-outs in order to maintain everyone's sanity. She's been clearing her throat a lot so I asked her if she had a sore throat.. she said, 'yes, but that's not the problem, mama... my head hurts so very very badly' (again with the drama) -

The good news is that after lunch I gave her some children's Tylenol and now she's a different person! (Yup, get that Mom-of-the-Year trophy out for me - for telling my child to 'suck it up' when she apparently really IS sick)

Well, since she was able to pull it together I told her she could have a friend over to play. She chose Lilly Bean. Bean is the youngest of my friend Kellie's kids - She just turned three in August (and yes, that is her older sister that just turned 16 yesterday) - God bless Kellie - she has FOUR daughters - nope, no typo - FOUR !!! I can't even handle ONE for Pete's sake.. that's on top of the two dogs, one cat, one fish and two guinea pigs - wanna talk about someone who thrives in mayhem?!?!?!

Anyways... this is about Al and Bean - they initially decided to have a tea party, but when mama said NO to the real food option, they went for option two and asked for music.. I told them that they had to be in charge of their own play list... I've been listening from downstairs and this is what they've managed so far. (from a song list of thousands)

James Brown 'I feel good'
KC & the Sunshine Band 'I'm your Boogie Man'
Outkast - 'Hey ya'
Patti LaBelle - 'Lady Marmalade'
Ray Charles - 'What'd I Say'

They've been quite the dancing queens up there - I finally went up to get a quick picture and the video is just priceless - Bean is getting down to business by taking off her jacket and Allison has her princess dress on, hand on her hip and her Buzz Lightyear cell phone attached to her ear! Too funny! Enjoy!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I'm laying (lying?) in bed this morning... late as usual, as my husband had turned off his alarm clock and promptly fallen back to sleep... and all of a sudden I'm awakened by this giggling and squealing outside my window...

After the initial, 'What in the &#(@^!#&&* ?!?!?!'

I remembered that today is my friend Kellie's daughter Morgan's 16th birthday and her friends were surprising her and taking her out to breakfast at 6 a.m. - hence the giggling, squealing mess that was my alarm this morning.

As I proceeded to bip my husband in the forehead in an attempt to wake him up I started thinking about MY 16th birthday - I remember that my folks bought me a new trumpet case and allowed me to go to the mall with my friends (with no parental involvement - trust me, this was HUGE) - now, mind you, back in 1985 the world was a different place. (and New Hampshire was a different world altogether).

You may have noticed that I italicized the word 'the' before writing the mall - that's because in 1985 there was only ONE mall in the entire state. I remember my birthday was on a Sunday because we were in K's Saab (affectionately known as 'the Slaab') and Bri was attempting to read the Sunday paper with all of the windows and sun roof open while driving down the highway. If I remember correctly the majority of the paper lined I-89 to Manchester....

While thinking about this today, I started poking around in my 'remnants' and found this card - and the photo as well. I'm not that much of a pack-rat but I suppose your 16th birthday is a big deal! Especially when you're in the midst of it. I don't think I'd go back to that time of my life though.... so much drama! It's a time of extremes - Even more dramatic than my four year old on a daily basis - I'm not looking forward to HER teenage years... *sigh*

How about y'all? would you go back to 16 if you could?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Over and over and over and over

Okay, how many times can you watch the same thing over and over again?

For my kids, they are completely enamoured with the Star Wars series. Originals, cartoons, sequels, prequels, video games, toys, anything.... they can endlessly watch any of the versions for a good 15 hours straight. (15 hours is when their little brains implode - we've tested it)

My husband however, is another matter... that man can watch the following movies at LEAST 150 times in a row and still not be sick of them...

'Big Trouble in Little China'
'Raiders of the Lost Ark'
'Star Wars' * 1-6
'Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind'
'Dances with Wolves'
'The Towering Inferno'
'Die Hard' * all of them
'Hunt for Red October'
'Bourne Identity' *all of them
'The Matrix' *all of them
'The Sting'

Mind you, this is on top of SportsCenter, (which i believe is shown every 7 minutes or so it seems)
and finally... there's football season.
How is it possible to remember every stat about every player every year since the inception of the game? (but he STILL has no idea what color eyes I have)
*in his defense, he IS colorblind*

Is it just a comfort thing or are they just hypnotized.


Monday, September 22, 2008

So many things we take for granted....

You know...
I just assume that things are as easy for my kids as they are for me....
Like tonight for example, Danny asked me to show him how to tie his shoes.
It never occurred to me to teach him... after all that's what Velcro is for, right?
He soaked that info up just like he was a little sponge... brain ticking.... hands working.... frustration setting in.... and then all of a sudden... Voilà!
That moment of complete success and pride.

Check out the video...

Nature vs. nurture....

It's nature... it's gotta be

May I present to the jury exhibit A

(if you click on the picture it will enlarge so you can see the detail of the lovely purple eyeshadow and glitter "lipstick")

~this is what happens when Mama makes the mistake of putting in a load of laundry while leaving the children unsupervised~

now may i present Exhibit B

How does she know how to do this when she's only 2 years old? it's not like mama parades around in HER tiara and chandelier earrings.....

And lastly Exhibit C.... Mama is such a lady! Gotta be nature 'cause it certainly ain't nurture!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

No, seriously..

Is there anything cuter than a sleeping baby?
The only problem is when they're awake!!!
I'm reading to the kids tonight before bed (generally Daddy's job, but the Cowboys are playing tonight and he's a little distracted) so I'm reading to the kids and when the book is finished it turns into...
'can I have a drink?'
'will you snuggle with me?'
'can Daddy snuggle with me?'
and inevitably I turn into the bad guy because I cannot be on the top and bottom bunks at the same time to snuggle with them. In the interest of fairness I tell them that I cannot snuggle with just one, so they're both out of luck... Then they both proceed to get out of bed and clutch at my t-shirt in an attempt to prevent me from leaving the room. (high drama... as always).
I tell them that I will no longer be reading to them EVER as it always seems to deteriorate once the story is over. To which my SIX year old son responds...
"Don't worry Ally, she won't remember what she said tomorrow, anyways..."
do you suppose it's early onset Alzheimers? Or perhaps the constant barrage of
'why Mama?'
'do cocoons taste good to caterpillars?'
'when will I be old enough to wear eyeglashes?" (ally's term for mascara)
'is this a missle or a laser?'
'can we get a sugar glider?'
'is Barbie a princess, too?'
'can I be a batmangirl for halloween?'
'how long until christmas?'
'is candy corn really made from corn?'
'can i have soup?'
'i'm hungry, mama'
i'm hungry, mama'
i'm hungry, mama'
(repeat another 75 times)
okay, i'm going to have to cut this blog short as my husband is currently cussing like a sailor and throwing an unholy hissy fit... (cowboys are losing, apparently) Wish me luck...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

We have a new enemy and he is....

the freakin' mosquito!

Although the hurricane has passed, we have a few new visitors in the area (other than evacuees). The mosquitoes are UNGODLY. Here are a few photos to show what we are doing to combat the problem.

Of course, Bob Howard and propane do not mix, but we successfully removed all pets and children from the area before he began his 'treatment'.

I'm telling ya, I can't make this stuff up!!!

Ouch.. Ike leaves a mark....

These are all photos from around our neighborhood of some of the damage in the area..
Multiply these times 100 and you'll get an idea of what kind of strength this storm had....

Ya Gotta Start Somewhere

Okay, here we go! Since all of you folks are SO very far away..... (hint hint) I figured I'd start this blog to allow y'all to see what all is going on here in paradise....

Have I mentioned that the kids are STILL out of school?!?!?!

We went to WalMart today where Al got some makeup (naturally) and Danny got a new LEGO ship (with MISSLES, MAMA!) So they are allowing me time to start this blog and as a bonus I got to take a nap as well! (Yeah ME!)

Rick and Bob are babbling away about Fantasy Football in the kitchen and the discussion will undoubtedly lead to 'what's for dinner' (that's where I come in).

Danny has become quite a structural engineer with his LEGOs - it's amazing what that boy is building... ships, rockets, aircraft and the like. He'll play for hours just designing and redesigning his contraptions. The only downside to all that is the little tiny pieces that I have a tendency to step on in the dark when you least suspect it!

I'm happy to say that my neighborhood finally has 100% power. I was able to get gas yesterday with minimal wait time and there was milk in the stores (whole milk, but milk nonetheless). We were craving the Outback Steakhouse last night - but none was open in the greater Houston area, so things aren't *quite* back to normal.

I donated blood yesterday in an attempt to feel like I was helping those less fortunate. It was my first time donating and I was just tickled by the fact that I got a free t-shirt and nutter-butter cookies! What a deal!
Check back here daily for updates - Y'all will be able to see picture and videos from here without the annoyance of emails!