Ever get 'woobley'?
As a general rule I do whenever I have to travel. Whether it be by plane, train or automobile, if it's outside my comfort zone, I'm woobley. I don't even like buses for that matter. Any situation that's out of my control is not a comfortable one for me. But here's a new one... today I had to read to a class of first graders. Twenty five, six and seven year olds staring at me with their oh-so-innocent little faces. Before I even left the house I had to hit the bathroom about 17 1/2 times. My mouth was dry, my face was numb, passed the point of delirium.... (whoops - that's a song by Green Day called Brain Stew). But I digress.. I walked into the 'open concept' classroom - don't even get me STARTED on THAT one! - and was greeted by Danny's teacher Miss Sigmund.
Remember that grade school teacher that you just loved? The pretty one with the long blond hair that always smiled and never yelled and told you how wonderful you were? (yeah, right) Well my friends, THAT is Danny's teacher. After the first time he met her, he felt the need to both hug her AND wrap his leg around her.
(Which we have since tried to impress upon him is NOT appropriate) As you can see by the look on his face in this picture, he's quite smitten and has promised to never ever get into trouble in Miss Sigmund's class.
Anyways, I was scheduled to read to the class today. I picked out some of the old favorites from the house and marched my happy self into the class. As I'm taking "Walter the Farting Dog" out of my satchel, I'm starting to realize that although potty humor is HUGE in my house, perhaps it's not quite appropriate at school. Yup.. that's when full blown woobley set in. I ended up reading 'Skippyjon Jones' in a muy muy soft voice a few times with my very best Spanish accent.
"My name is Skippito Friskito, (clap clap)
I fear not a single Bambito, (clap clap)
My moves are so mellow,
I'm sweet like the jello,
I get the job done yes, indeed-o" (clap clap)
Several teachers in the area must have been offended by my very best spanish accent because heads were popping up all over that 'open concept' like a freakin' prairie dog colony.
Did I mention that my mom is leaving tomorrow for Italy? I'm so excited for her. She's going to have a wonderful time, even if she is a bit woobley at the moment. Her doc prescribed her some anti-anxiety stuff - I told her to take one with a glass of wine and she'll be across the ocean before you can say 'Chihuahuas, cheese and crackers'.
I'm also very excited for my dad as he just finished up his cancer treatment this week. Did I mention that they were filling him with TB in the hopes of killing the cancer? Yeah, weird, I know. It makes you wonder, 'who in the world would have been the first to try that?' like who in the hell said, 'hey - let's eat that crab - YUM!' - they are so nasty looking!
I bet it was on a dare!
Okay, it's Friday, it's pizza night, it's beer night - oh wait... every night is potentially beer night! my kids are too quiet and i'm afraid... i'm very afraid.
Mom have a great trip - eat, drink and be merry - enjoy the sights, say hey to the pope for me.
Dad, don't go into a diabetic coma from eating all of the sweets that you'll be eating while mom is away!
Have a great weekend, y'all